Buying Bikes

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live" - Mark Twain

Buying and naming a bike is a serious business. Here are some general rules to guide you.

1. The number of bikes that you should aim to own is governed by Einstein's little quoted 8th Law of Relativity e = n +1 (where e is the number of bikes you SHOULD own and n is the number of bikes you CURRENTLY own)

2. The amount of money that you should spend on a new bike is easy to calculate and is determined by the algorithm p = 2f + 10a (where p is the amount you must spend on a bike and f is the amount that your wife says you are allowed to spend on a bike and a is your current age). As a worked example, for a 42 year old man whose wife says he can only spend £1,000 on a bike, you must spend £2,420). Obviously if anyone asks, you only actually spent £800 and they threw in the bottles and cages.